Monday, October 15, 2012

Smoke Screen

The 17th of October is my birthday and I will be 27 this year, a fact that I frequently forget. I stopped counting after turning 18, so now I actually have to do math most of the time to figure out how long I have been alive. Kudos to me.

I don't really have much to write about today. I just feel kinda tired and empty of ideas. Nothing other than work and normal life has happened. More work than regular life, which makes me cranky.

So I will just write about work I guess.

Specifically, how much I fucking hate cigarette smoke. And it is EVERYWHERE here. About 75% of the staff here smokes (not an exaggeration) so around every entrance and exit there is an acrid, disgusting, choking haze that I try to run through as quickly as possible.
Not cool guys. Where's the goddamn door?
This haze is often so thick that it penetrates the outer doors and gets caught in that little area between the outside door and the inside door. If you accidentally breathe in this space, you will be coughing for at least a half an hour.
The hall of smokey death.
The picnic areas, that actually could be a nice place to have lunch, have at least one smoker out there at any given time. These smokers are also the really rude type that don't care where the blow their smoke in relation to you, so you better find a different place to eat away from all doors and windows.
Like in a box, that is inside another box, that is also inside a closet.
Since the weather is getting colder, you aren't even safe from the smoke inside, as there there are several women who smoke in the bathroom.
I don't know who they are, but if I catch them I am going to beat them with a wet pool noodle.
Because it hurts like hell, but I wouldn't actually be sent to prison for it.
Even if they aren't smoking inside, they still reek of the smell. Also, many people here also don't practice personal hygiene, so there is the added smell of ass-odor mixed in with the cigarette stink.
Did someone just take a dump in an ashtray...? Oh, nope. It's just you.
Also an added side effect of all this smoking is the inevitable smoker's cough. You know the one. It is all wet and snotty sounding, like they are going to hock a lung right there on the floor. Like that old guy at the diner. Multiply that by 20 or 30 people and it starts to sound like a tuberculosis ward instead of an office.
There is a lung in my motherfucking food. DAMMIT JERRY, cover your damn mouth.
I am not saying that everyone should quit as I know it is very difficult to do, though it would be extremely beneficial to their health and well being. I just want there to be designated smoking areas so those of us who don't smoke don't have to walk through it and smell like it.


Amber Holt said...

I, personally, love when I walk out side through a fucking cloud of smoke and see 10 people standing NEXT TO A SIGN that says "No Smoking 50ft from entrance" Who polices that shit? Cause someone needs to start.
Also I have to attend a meeting at a hangar everyday at 9am...way to early to deal with the bullshit. Without fail this crotchety 70 year old man who smokes like 25 Pall Malls a day sits right next to me, everyday! Not one of the 40 super cute 20 year old soldiers, oh no! I get hack a lung...fml

Melissa Bloechl said...

Seriously, what the fucking fuck? I will start peppering the smokers with rock salt in a shotgun if I have to...

That sucks that you have to sit next to Hack-A-Lung...maybe he likes you? Yeah, ew.

Charleen said...

Ugh, yeah, smokers are disgusting, especially in large groups. And even more disgusting is the fact that most of them either don't know or don't care that their habits literally make others feel physically ill. Kind of makes you want to walk around spraying them with the most disgusting perfume you can find.

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