Happy Shit – 5/31/13

Hello all! This has felt like the longest work week in history, even though Monday was a holiday. I am attributing that to the fact that I just wanted to continue my vacation and not do work things at all.

Fuck and damnation.

It doesn't help that I hate extremes in temperatures and this week went from cool and windy to hotter than balls in one damn night, because New England weather is a dick like that.

This is how those of us who sunburn easily feel when you make us go outside.

Anyway, fun fact of the week: The giraffe was once called a "camelopard" because people thought it was a cross between a camel and a leopard.

Yeah. Makes complete sense.

And happy shit! YEAH!
The Sad Cat Diaries, which are not sad at all.

I would like to receive two rubs exactly. A third one, and I will bite the shit out of them as per protocol.

This gif of a dude trying to making his workout fun.

When he spins, I imagine he is squealing,"WHEEEEEEEEEE!" like a little girl.

I don't know whether to be disturbed or amused by the Founding Father Pin-ups...thanks for the confusion Casey...dammit.

Scare-roused?

This gif of what I would probably do if I were a window cleaner...I would not be a good window cleaner.

Cleaning is only fun if you get to scare the shit out of people.

Ice Ice Baby on a Zamboni by Flula.

That Zamboni driver looks fucking PUMPED.

This gif of an awesome real life Transformer.

Transformers! People in disguise!

The Halo Medley by Lindsey Stirling, William Joseph, and the 405th.

Objective updated: Protect the piano.

And that is it. I am going to try and stay cool this weekend as the heat is supposed to continue.

Happy Shit –5/24/13

Hi guys! I am fucking PUMPED that this is a three day weekend. Unfortunately, it is going to rain almost the entire time and we were supposed to mow the lawn, which already looks like a jungle. But I don't have to go to work on Monday, and that is awesome enough to make up for the deluge.

I don't even give a shit. I have a day off!

Fun fact of the week: The city of Juneau, Alaska covers approximately 3,000 square miles, which makes it bigger than the entire state of Delaware.

I have always thought Delaware looked like a little gnome sitting down...anyone else think that?

Not a lot of them this week, but here is all of the Happy Shit!

This rap about Dad Life is hilariously awesome.

They're drivin' by, peepin' at my landscape. Yo, these greens got nothin' on my manscape...

And along the same line is the Parent Rap about rollin' with your own posse of shorties.

My PB&Js will set your world on fire. I could make you mac n' cheese blindfolded on a wire.

This rendition of Dearly Beloved by Taylor Davis is beautiful.

I love piano and string instrument pairings...

I think this makeup tutorial is cool, even though I have never watched the show Defiance.

And I love weird contacts.

This Max No Sleeves video about baby names.

I always initially see the name Marissa backwards when I read it and it makes me giggle.

Bloopers from the Batman parody series by College Humor.

No, of course I'm not Batman! I'm Bruce Wayne! See?!

And The Piano Guys confusing some cows.

He's making a "moo" noise, but I don't trust him. He is the weirdest looking cow I have ever seen.

In closing I would like to share this quote from Doctor Who, which I find inspiring:

Doctor Who has a lot of these little life lessons.

Happy Shit – 5/17/13

Hello all! Here is my week/weekend recap for you:

First: This past Wednesday was our 3rd wedding anniversary! We have now been together a grand total of 10 years!

Check out our wedding photo. Totally bitchin'.
(Yup, that is my real hair color. Sadly, I am not a really a ginger.)

David made an awesome dinner Wednesday night and then I passed out because I have been sick all week. Inevitably, I am always sick around holidays or important events. I think I have a combination of allergies and a cold going on right now and it is making me feel like my head is filled with lead, but with the added bonus of itchy eyes, a runny nose, and now coughing. Bleeeeghghghahgh...

Today I am on Dayquil and therefore SUPER AWARE.

Second: It has been a long week but this afternoon I am getting my hair done AND getting a pedicure!

When you can exfoliate one foot with your other foot, you should seek professional help...

Third: DOCTOR WHO SEASON FINALE IS THIS WEEKEND! WOOOO!!! Sadly though, that means no new episodes until the 50th anniversary special in November. Boo.

If I don't find out what is up with Clara in this episode, I'm gonna be pissed.

Anyway, here is the fact of the week: A group of kittens is called a "kindle." A group of grown cats is called a "clowder." A male cat is called a "tom," a female cat is called a "molly" or "queen", and young cats are called "kittens." This has been a random assortment of cat facts. You're welcome internet.

Kindle?

And now, HAPPY SHIT! YEAH!

I would like to thank my sister-in-law for introducing me to Flula's videos. Here is one of his early ones called Name Three Germans!

Hitler is fucking Austrian.
No, that is not the same as German.

The videos that Flula is more well known for are of him trying to decipher the meaning of some random American colloquialisms. Like this one about the phrase "party pooper."

She poops at parties?! America is more fucked than I previously anticipated.

Just one more: Kick Ass and Take Names?

Imagine that down here there are some anuses...just a large herd of booties.

This is how I feel when I haven't had coffee...except the latte part. I like my coffee black.

For only the price of a cup of coffee a day, you can buy Josh a cup of coffee!

This one makes me giggle.

PEW! PEW! PEW!
I feel like the dude doing all the shooting would be me and the dude just sitting there looking at me like I am insane would be my husband.

And if you are feeling lonely, Hire-A-Stalker!

Hire-A-Stalker: Caring from a distance.

If zombies figure out how to do this, we are all fucking screwed.

I...I never planned for this contingency. Fuck.

This baby owl taking a bath.

His name is Peabody. And he loves you.

And this armadillo taking a bath.

OMFG! Armadillo tummy!

For the first time ever in the world, you play with a real live platypus (at Australia's Healesville Sanctuary).

This female platypus loves tummy tickles. SQUEEE!!!

And finally, to leave you scared for life, here are some disturbing baby shower cakes.

It starts out tame, but then this happens.
Dear god, what the fuck is that?!

Happy Shit – 5/10/13

Okay, I'm back! I am so glad things seem to be letting up this week. Seriously, work has been fucking RIDICULOUS.

Help. Me.

Anyway, let's get to the good stuff. Fun fact of the week: Did you know that the face on a CPR dummy was molded from an unidentified corpse they fished out of the Seine River in Paris in the late 1800s?

They call her Annie. Because that's not creepy at all.

And now, here is some happy shit! YEAH!

I find this gif incredibly relaxing.

Ooooo...fire...

Portraits of people's faces being blown by leaf blowers...not like that...fucking sicko.

That's HOT.

For those of you who may not have heard the song Shop Vac by Jonathan Coulton, it is hilarious (also, that video has awesome typography).

This is the photo that made me remember that this song existed...This is now in my collection of weird-ass photos.

This fascinating ad campaign by the ANAR Foundation that allows adults and kids to look at the same ad and see two different messages.

They are using the new technology not to sell toys, but to help kids escape abusive households. It gives me warm fuzzies inside. Not the abuse, the helping.

This video of a baby elephant playing in the ocean for the first time.

That elephant is fucking PUMPED!

This parody of Maroon 5's "Moves Like Jagger," called "Moves Like Jabba" is awesome.

The Force bounces off his double chin.

This "Thrift Shop" parody called "Gift Shop" is fucking hysterical. Here is the link to the original Thrift Shop video in case you haven't seen it - it is hilarious in its own right.

Damn! That's a cold-ass snow globe.

This blog post about Alfalfa the Guinea Pig (Alfalfa's Adventures) confronting his nemesis: the Lady Across The Hall.

Of course there is poo involved, this is about guinea pigs - they are practically MADE of poo.

And that is it for this week! Happy Mother's Day for those of you celebrating in the US this weekend!

I'm not dead!

Let me apologize for last Friday and not having a "Happy Shit" post. Even though I haven't been great about keeping my Monday post schedule, I always seem to manage to pull something together for the end of the week, but last week at work was bad. Like, eye-stabbing, head-desk concussion bad. And this week promises to be the same, but I am still going to try to get something up for Friday.

I still love you, and I would write to you all day, everyday if I could; However, I am not independently wealthy and the bills need to get paid somehow. :-(