Friday, February 22, 2013

Happy Shit - 2/22/13

The end of another week and again, I am pretty pumped it is over.

The construction by our house has been a complete bitch lately. Not only do they start work at 7am Monday through Saturday (Fucking Saturday. What the shit guys?!), they have detoured all the traffic (including school buses and large trucks) onto our tiny side road. Our road which, when it isn't winter, it is barely wide enough for two cars and right now it is wide enough for maybe one and a half. Also, once you get past that clusterfuck, it takes an extra 20-30 minutes to get down a stretch of road that usually takes less than 5 minutes to traverse. Awesome.
Construction in New England: because your
commute obviously doesn't suck enough!
And then on Wednesday, I dumped an entire cup of coffee on my lap first thing in the morning at work and had to stay there like that for nine hours. All damp and smelling of really shitty coffee.
And yes, the coffee was very warm.
Flesh-scaldingly hot would be a better description.
Anyway, here is the fun (and disgusting) fact of the week: Most dust particles in your house and office are made from dead skin cells of all the people and animals that have been there.
Did anyone else just get the urge to dust everything while
wearing a bio-hazard suit?
Now, on the the happy shit!

This awesome commercial about a cat that came with a catalog-ordered bedroom set.
Available in black, brown or holiday...?
My brain does this shit to me all the time...
You are trying to sleep? Let's think of all the things!
And if you haven't seen the new cool trend on YouTube, it is called the Harlem Shake. The original video is here, but this is my favorite version so far. Thanks Norwegian Army for being awesome!
It is my favorite possibly because of the two dudes in
mummy sleeping bags writhing on the ground. Or that
dude banging his head against the wall repeatedly.
Or that dude falling out the window. Hard to say really...
Or this version with the Pixiwoo girls and their kids.
It looks fine and then it all goes sideways.
This awesome story about a small-town paper in Mississippi that told all the bigots to suck it when they published an article about the first gay marriage in the county.
Congrats on your marriage Crystal and Jessica!
And these awesome iPad holders.
It has a joystick!
 This "makeup tutorial" made by one of the Sam's (Pixiwoo artist) daughter, Lilly.
Blending is important.
And finally, the album "Invincible" by Two Steps From Hell. These guys are awesome and have written a lot of background music for video games and movies.
Look at the bitchin' album art!
You know they are serious when there is a dude in
a helmet on the front in a dark sepia tone.
And that is it for this week. I hope you all have a great weekend!

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

When Spring Comes Early

This is a short little rant that I have been working on for a few weeks, in between work assignments. I am really sorry that I haven't been putting out my normal Monday blog post. It makes me sad too.

I have a severe lack of winter clothing that fits. Three long sleeve shirts, a sweater, a small assortment of cardigans and camisoles and that is about it.

I can't afford to buy winter clothing when it first makes its debut in August/September because the holidays, vehicle inspections (David and I have to get them done the same month), and preparations for winter are on their way and all that requires money. After Christmas, the stores and their websites are empty and aren't really restocked until almost the end of January. When they finally start having things again, it is all spring clothes.
If I wear this anytime before mid-April, I will freeze to death.
Nice try retail, but your plans to murder me are foiled again!
Spring they not know what New England is like in February? March? April? I'll give you a hint, it looks like this:
No one hears as your screams are swallowed by the
howling wind and swirling snow. The temperature dips and
as you feel your insides freeze and you think,
"Dammit. I hate cleaning snow off my car."
Where do I go when all the clothing in stores is for spring and we still very much have winter? The stores don't really seem to give a shit. And if they do give an answer, it is layering. Okay many layers of spring clothing does it take to keep out the winter cold? Answer: ALL OF THE LAYERS.
Look! I layered a paper-thin sweater over this
light cotton dress. This is sure to keep me warm!
All in all, I am lucky if I get to start wearing my spring clothes in May, and it is a miracle if I get to wear them in April. And by then, all the stores are halfway through their summer season and soon the cycle will start all over again. Awesome.

Friday, February 15, 2013

Happy Shit – 2/15/13

Yet again, my job shit all over my week, but I am leaving early today because of all the extra hours I worked this week. I get to leave while there is still daylight! I don't know what to do! SUNLIGHT!
I feel like a mole.
(Yes, that is a mole. It is called a star-nosed mole)
Fun fact of the week: During the Renaissance, fashionable aristocratic Italian women shaved their hair several inches back from their natural hairlines. This is why the Mona Lisa has no eyebrows.
Damn! Did I over-pluck?
And happy shit:

This video entitled 50 Shades of Domestic Grey.
Neat-O! A sex dungeon!
This video (thank you anonymous Facebook friend) about Mario's trials and tribulations with the ending flagpole scene.
Because jumping at a flagpole like that would hurt.
And this fucking song that has been stuck in my head and I haven't even heard it in a bajillion years. WTF brain?
Ring-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring...BANANA PHONE!!!
And this will restore your faith in the human race. This man is a hero. Seriously.
The ultimate purpose in life is to give.
Also, this beautiful violin cover of Misty Mountain from the Hobbit.
Look at that shit. Playing FOUR different parts.
I can't even play one part on any instrument.
Thomas O'Brian does One Take Thursdays where he plays things he has never played before and tapes his first attempt. His perfection makes me ill.
And he is the brother of Cracked columnist Daniel O'Brian.
And Epic Rap Battles of History. Oh em gee. I almost peed watching some of these.
And their latest one includes Jenna Marbles!
And the Vegan Black Metal Chef. In this episode, he makes Pad Thai.
That tofu is pretty grim.
And finally, what the shit is up with this highlighter I found on my desk?! Aromatherapy highlighter?!
To be fair, it does smell kinda nice
(like lemons and ginger)...but still, WTF?

Friday, February 8, 2013

Happy Shit – 2/8/13

Yay! It is the end of another boring, completely full of work week for me and today we here in New England are set to be walloped by a wicked gigantic snowstorm.
Seriously, what the shit Mother Nature?
Also, I would like to point out that even though the National Weather Service has asked them quite forcefully to stop naming storms besides hurricanes, the Weather Channel continues to do so.
Nemo? Really Weather Station? Stop. Just stop.
Anyway, on to the fun fact of the week! Most Muppets are left-handed because most puppeteers are right-handed, and they operate the Muppet's head with their dominant hand. Muppets operated by more than person, such as Swedish Chef, are usually right handed.

Now, to the list of shit that made me happy this week! YAY!

This video of a pug bouncing up the stairs.

If your legs were as short as mine, you would climb the stairs like that too asshole.
And The Platypus Song. WARNING: This song will get stuck in your head.
And this office supplies commercial.
I imagine there are a lot of paper cuts in this office.
I rediscovered this video this week. This is what people in Northern Massachusetts often sound like (I should know, part of my family is from Lowell...yeah...). WARNING: Copious amounts of fake blood are involved!
Be the baddest dude in Revere. JACK CHOP!
This is so cute. Clearly this person loves this fish.
Wheelchair for a fish is called...a floaty chair?
This is serious subject but they really do an awesome job with it.
Studies have shown that women are more likely to
watch a video with a hot guy in it. Not that guy.
This version of Ode to Joy by Beaker.
And finally, The End of the World by Albino Black Sheep. It is an older video (2003 I think?) but I love it so much.
And Australia is down there like,"WTF mates?"
Hopefully my life will stop being boring and so filled with work soon. I want to get back on a regular schedule with the blog.

Friday, February 1, 2013

Happy Shit – 2/1/13

Hi everyone! Congratulations on making it to the end of another week and happy first day of February!

Fun fact of the week: The "see no evil," "hear no evil," and "speak no evil" monkeys originate in Japan and they actually have names. They are Mazaru, Kikazaru, and Iwazaru respectively. Sometimes there is a fourth monkey named Shizaru that represents "do-no-evil" with crossed arms or clasped hands.
I think Shizaru looks more like a toddler that has to pee.
Maybe that is why he isn't depicted all that often.
And now, happy shit:

I have this artwork by Guido Daniele in my office and it is pretty awesome.
Fuck shadow puppets.
This video of guinea pigs doing Gangnam Style.
Just a boar and his bitches.
This video of a pair of capybaras going for a walk is adorable. As is this one of the same pair playing.
No big thing, just two of the world's largest rodents hanging out.
The Disney animated short film "Paperman" because it is sweet and it made me cry happy tears at the end.
Most boring-ass day ever totally made awesome by paper airplanes.
This reversible Chewbacca jacket.
You're all "Do-dee-dooo....WOOKIE!!!!"
This website that has beautiful letterpress cards that say rude things. I think this one is my favorite:
I think that says it all really. A card for all occasions.
And for that free-loading baby in your life: The baby mop!
It's never too early to make them earn their keep.
And if you are like me and can't stand shit getting stuck in and on your keyboard, this is apparently what OCD people like us need: A washable keyboard.
Don't judge me. I may be domestically challenged,
but I take care of my technological devices.

And this is what friends are for ladies and gentlemen:
The friend that opens the umbrella behind you so you can
be a dilophosaurus is the best friend you’ll ever have.
 And this is a real commercial. No. Seriously.
I'll give you a preview:
"Double impact...?" Bow-chicka-bow-wow...
Also, this Hogwarts dollhouse.
Holy shit. How much time do you have to have to do this?
And this song. I don't know what else to say about it.
Narwhals: Underwater Unicorns
The Return of Donkey Kong song...I don't know, it just made me giggle.
Diddy Kong looks pissed.
Also, the swash-buckling adventures of Gerbils of the Caribbean!
Look lively and don't chew on the ship!
And finally, this video on where babies come from.
Space. The answer is space.
And that is it for this week. Tomorrow I am going shopping with my mom and sister to hopefully find some shirts I can wear to work because I seriously have maybe eight shirts in the rotation and some are close to dying.