Wednesday, February 20, 2013

When Spring Comes Early

This is a short little rant that I have been working on for a few weeks, in between work assignments. I am really sorry that I haven't been putting out my normal Monday blog post. It makes me sad too.

I have a severe lack of winter clothing that fits. Three long sleeve shirts, a sweater, a small assortment of cardigans and camisoles and that is about it.

I can't afford to buy winter clothing when it first makes its debut in August/September because the holidays, vehicle inspections (David and I have to get them done the same month), and preparations for winter are on their way and all that requires money. After Christmas, the stores and their websites are empty and aren't really restocked until almost the end of January. When they finally start having things again, it is all spring clothes.
If I wear this anytime before mid-April, I will freeze to death.
Nice try retail, but your plans to murder me are foiled again!
Spring they not know what New England is like in February? March? April? I'll give you a hint, it looks like this:
No one hears as your screams are swallowed by the
howling wind and swirling snow. The temperature dips and
as you feel your insides freeze and you think,
"Dammit. I hate cleaning snow off my car."
Where do I go when all the clothing in stores is for spring and we still very much have winter? The stores don't really seem to give a shit. And if they do give an answer, it is layering. Okay many layers of spring clothing does it take to keep out the winter cold? Answer: ALL OF THE LAYERS.
Look! I layered a paper-thin sweater over this
light cotton dress. This is sure to keep me warm!
All in all, I am lucky if I get to start wearing my spring clothes in May, and it is a miracle if I get to wear them in April. And by then, all the stores are halfway through their summer season and soon the cycle will start all over again. Awesome.


Valerie said...

I went to target the other day and the god damn bathing suits were out already!!! I walk straight out of the store. I've had my share of Orc mischief today, good sir. No thank you.




Amber Holt said...

I resorted to buying shit tons of clothes on the web. From stores that I can return to in a mall of whatever. Gap, Victoria Secret, etc. it works!!

Melissa Bloechl said...

Valerie: I know! WHAT THE SHIT?! I am not ready for that fuckery.

Amber: I too have resorted to web shopping, but you can't usually get clothing out of season, even on the interwebs. Also, I have a problem getting my boobs and gunt to fit in things...

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