Happy Shit – 12/21/12

This was the longest week in the history of ever. I am officially on vacation today at 1:30pm and I can't fucking wait. Guess what I will be doing? Lots of nothing! Then painting my kitchen and my dining room. And then more nothing! It's going to be awesome.

Fun fact of the week: Female koala bears have two vaginas and male koala bears have a bifurcated (forked) penis.

Haha, now all you can think about is its penises. Pervert.

First and foremost, I went to the movie theater and saw The Hobbit, which is a huge deal for me because I haven't gone in years due to anxiety and the constant threat of panic attacks. Well, I fucking made it! And the movie was good! And (best part) no panic attacks AT ALL! YAY ME!

LOOK! I'm still alive! But very tired!
IN YOUR FACE THEATER GODS!

Kind of related to the whole Hobbit thing: I love that the viking and dwarf hats on Etsy keep getting more elaborate every year.

It says,"I want to pillage," but in a stately and elegant way.

I got an early Christmas present from David (even though we don't usually get each other presents). It is a sonic screwdriver flashlight! SONIC. SCREWDRIVER. FLASHLIGHT.

Mine is the one on the right, as I like the 10th doctor more than the 11th.
Just my preference, I still love the current doctor and the 9th doctor.

While we are on the subject of Doctor Who, here is the former cast singing "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas."

No sonic screwdriver is going to fix the tuning here.

If cats were on Pinterest absolutely cracked me up.

The fancier the dress the better the bed will be!

For those of you who have been sick: First, stay the hell away from me. Second, here are some tips for how to keep it together at work while you are all cracked out on cold medicine.

And then you faceplant your keyboard from expending all that effort to look aware.

Here is NASA's take on today's threat of apocalypse.

You believe the world is going to end today? Well...Aren't you just a special kind of stupid!

The fact that this hotel exists intrigues and scares me. Also, the fact that the news here in NH felt that it needed to report its existence still baffles me.

Take a good long look. Yup, that is where poop comes from.

 You know you should give up your life as a desperate drug mule when this happens.

Guess where these were found.

What the hell is wrong with the world when cats are eating more expensive food than me?

"Pet owners excited over results"?
Um, no. Those pet owners have lost their goddamn minds.

For those of you who just want to see hilarious GIFs of cats all day, here is the site for you.

That cat is going to shit on everything you own when he lands.

Another Neil Patrick Harris puppet thing entitled "To Catch a Puppeteer." It is pretty creepy and wrong.

He wants to put his hand in a puppet. Aw yeah.

Finally! Someone tells me what happens to boiling water if you throw it outside in a Russian winter!

No worries, it is only -41 goddamn degrees outside.
He is referring to -41 Celsius. The conversion is -41.8 degrees Fahrenheit,
AKA pretty fucking cold.

If I had to picture what Fruit Ninja would be like if it existed in real life, this is what I would picture.

That horse is like,"What the fuck did I do to deserve this?"

I know I already told you to watch The Piano Guys, but this a pretty epic version of Rudolph.

What the fuck is this madness?!

I squeed so hard when I watched this rendition of Alvin and the Chipmunks Christmas song. Sung by guinea pigs.

Me? I want a HOOOOOOLA HOOOOOOP!

And finally in keeping with the spirit of the season and trying to remind you that not everyone has gone batshit insane, I bring you 26 moments that will restore your faith in humanity.

Most considerate parents ever?

And that is it for this week! I may or may not post on Monday, it depends on how busy I get. Hopefully I will get a chance to write and proof-read this weekend...If I don't post on Monday, have a lovely holiday (if you celebrate, if not, have a lovely day regardless)!