Friday, November 23, 2012

Happy Shit - 11/23/12

Happy Thanksgiving...for yesterday! YAY, belated salutations!

This is Happy Shit: Post-Thanksgiving Edition. But it is also pre my post-Thanksgiving party, which is tomorrow. I get a free turkey every year from work and this year it was 19 fucking pounds! So we are just going to have a small "I am so sick of turkey, but here is some more turkey" get together. It will be awesome and there will be much turkey and merriment.
Oh god, so much turkey. Make it stop. MAKE IT STOP.
Anyway, fun fact about me: Whenever I see the word "salmon" I always read it as "slammin'" first. Always. I don't know why.
"Well, we do look pretty slammin'." – Sockeye Salmon (except for the one at
the bottom of the picture that appears to have some kind of fish necrosis...)
Here is some shit that made me happy this week:

Felicia Day and Amy Okuda throw a pot. This is TOTALLY what happens when you first try pottery
(Keep watching until the feature segment to see the pottery stuff).
There is always a bitch who gets it right on her first try in every class.
Try to restrain the urge to pummel her face with your clay covered hands, that
leaves evidence. Don some gloves and jump that bitch in a dark parking lot later!
I shared this video on my Facebook earlier this week (I know it is a Coke ad), but it is still beautiful and if it doesn't melt your heart a little bit then you have no soul.
Dance dude! DANCE!
Max No Sleeves has an educational video on greeting people. My favorite is the Boston greeting, because it is fantastically accurate.
Also, accurate directions in New England: "Ya take a left at Turn’as Pond, and drive
till ya get to tha red house that my grandpa painted blue five years back,
an ya turn down tha dirt road… ya all see the stump where the squirral used ta
sit every day? Ya wanna go abouts five miles after that, but tha squiraal got run over by
one of thems Mass of 2 Shits tourist drivers so ya won’t see him, just tha stump…”
And as follow up to that video, this is the video that Max mentions at the end of the above greeting video. This dude that is REALLY into his whiskey.
Richard Patterson: drinking like a motherfucking gentleman.
Since I am on a New England kick: for those that didn't see it when it came out, let me present Granite State of Mind (and part 2) It is a scarily accurate portrayal of what it is like to live in New Hampshire.
Accurate, but not all encompassing. There are no jokes about inbred motherfuckers, and no
mention of the fact that we call towns by insulting names and everyone knows
where you are talking about (ie - Rochester is known as Crotch-fester).
And I would like to thank one of my Facebook friends for sharing this gem. You know who you are.
Luckily, I only suffer from road mouth. I will say awful things
but I won't actually do anything stupid.
And that is it this week. Sorry there wasn't a real post. Between Fizz being sick, work, and Thanksgiving, I have had no time whatsoever. But hopefully everything will be back to the normal state of weirdness next week. Then Christmas will come and fuck everything up again. Yeah.


Valerie said...

Is that whiskey glass ridiculously small, or am I just an alcoholic?!



Melissa Bloechl said...

No worries, that is a small glass. Probably because that single bottle of whiskey costs anywhere from $300-500 Sipping whiskey, because when you are drinking that kind of money away, you want to be fucking classy about it.

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