|Thanks Count Rugen. You're a dick.|
|All the places in orange don't recognize DST anymore and the ones in red have never recognized it.|
Who Do We Blame For This Bullshit?Seriously, whoever thought this shit up should be punched repeatedly in the dick. Forever.
|It was all of these ancient assholes. All of our ancestors were dicks.|
|"Watch this! It's summer, so I'll make the day take FOREVER to pass. And if they complain, they get a lightening bolt in the ass." – Zeus|
|Founding Father, Inventor, Destroyer of Sleep.|
He observed from a purely economic standpoint that many resources would be saved if everybody rose earlier in the summer and burned less "midnight oil."
|This was when "midnight oil" required some dude named Ahab to battle a gigantic dick of a whale just to get some of its sweet blubber juice. All so you could put it in your lamp.|
Since good ol' Ben couldn't get his shit together and come up with a plan, it remained an idea until the late 1800's when George Vernon Hudson thought to himself,"Damn, I like having extra daylight hours to go collect bugs (seriously). I bet other people would like it too."
|I like bugs and not letting people sleep.|
|William and Winston, lobbying to ruin your sleep since 1905.|
|This means more hours in the day to kill and/or horribly disfigure other dudes with mustard gas and bullets! WHEEE!!|
|Because what good is it to save money when your economy makes it so all it is good for is toilet paper and kindling?|
And yes, I said MOST states. The federal government doesn't require US states or territories to observe daylight saving time, which is why residents of Arizona, Hawaii, Puerto Rico, the Virgin Islands, American Samoa, Guam, and the Northern Marianas Islands didn't need to change their clocks this past weekend. Those bastards.
It Makes Bad Shit HappenIf you made it into work this morning without being molested by other drivers, congratulations. Statistically, the day after daylight savings is one of the worst days (in terms of safety) to be on the road.
|Oh, goddammit. I haven't even left the house yet.|
|Hmm, what's on the calendar for today? Dentist at 8, Meeting at 10,|
oh and Spring Forward: Prepare for Apocalypse. Sounds like a busy day!
In my opinion, our circadian body clocks are set by light and darkness, so we never truly adjust to gaining an "extra" hour of sunlight. Why endanger ourselves?
|Fuck it. Let's all go to Hawaii.|