Monday night, I was driving home and I had to pee. However, it wasn't a normal,"Hey, I've kinda got to pee" feeling. It was more of a,"HOLY SHIT, I MUST URINATE NOW!" kind of feeling. I know that feeling. I HATE THAT FEELING. That feeling means a UTI, and of course all the doctor's offices are already closed. Because OF COURSE THEY ARE.
|Hey, we decided that we are only going to be open during the hours you work. Also, we will be closed during lunchtime. For your convenience.|
|"A pulled muscle? But what about my heart racing and my difficulty breathing?"|
"You hang in there sunshine! Tough that shit out!"
|And if you put it in a pretty glass, it looks like wine.|
|"Um, yeah...I'm gonna need you to piss in a cup for my enjoyment." - Covering physician, part-time asshole|
I waited for an hour with this horde (...flock...what does one call a group of old people?), but it was all worth it. I was in and out of there in no time, with a prescription already called in. WOO-HOO! To celebrate my escape from the clinic and to waste time while waiting for my prescription to be filled, I treated myself to a quick breakfast.
|Sadly, I did not get a "happy ending" with my eggs and toast. Guess that is just for the afternoon crowd.|
I then ventured to the pharmacy, my goal of going home to curl up into the fetal position was finally within reach! But cruelly, it was snatched away as I was informed that my insurance "wasn't able to accept any claims for the day" but if I could wait until tomorrow, they could process it then. Um...FUCK NO.
|YES! SMASH! And then cry for a bit because I hurt...please, just give me the drugs. Please. *whimpering*|
I told them I would pay the $15 for the damn thing, I just needed it today. He said he would have to revoke the insurance claim and it would take about 10 minutes. Forty-five minutes later, I was still at the pharmacy, in pain and seriously pissed off. However, I maintained my goddamn composure because I am a fucking lady and kindly informed him that I was in pain and that I would really like my medication. Please.
Then the asshat informs me that it has been ready for a while. Oh, hell no. NO. I told him I was waiting. I was sitting three feet from this jackass the entire time, he couldn't have just said,"it's ready" or something? Apparently, I am just supposed to feel when the time is right with my fucking force powers?!
|Maybe I'll just shoot a lightening bolt right at your dick while I'm at it, you incompetent motherfucker.|
Needless to say, the other five people who had also been waiting were a little miffed that he was an inefficient douchcake, as he had neglected to tell them that their prescriptions were ready too. When I left, he was getting a serious dressing down by a very angry old lady, while her husband stood by smirking.
|Oh no sonny, I'm not gonna call her off. You're on your own.|
And so, my journey was at an end. I went home, took my medication, and played Ticket to Ride on my iPad until I felt sleepy and then I took a nap. The-fucking-end.