Domestically Challengeditis is a procrastination related disorder where one puts off doing something one hates in relation to cleanliness of ones home. It is a very serious problem, one that you might not even know you have until you are attacked by a dust bunny the size of your head and you have to put a stake through it’s fucking heart to get it to leave you alone (aka - to make it stop sticking to your sock so you can further ignore the problem in peace).
To add insult to injury, people afflicted with this disorder are generally bad at the actual act of cleaning. Whether it is due to disuse of the cleaning skill set or just some cruel fucking joke from some higher deity is unclear. Either way, it sucks.
|"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" - God|
This disorder is made worse by the soul-sucking futility of home cleanliness. Take for example the toilet. You scrub the shit out of it (oh hell YES that pun is intended) until she shines like a goddamn beacon of AWESOME. It is a monument to your cleaning effort and inevitably the moment that you finish, someone will need to drop a deuce all over that shininess. FACT.
|This makes people want to poop.|
The usual symptoms of Domestically Challengeditis usually are general clutter and a build up of dishes and laundry, but symptoms may worsen when house guests are introduced to the environment. For those afflicted with Domestically Challengeditis, the prospect of visitors induces a panicked and furious cleaning session known as The Frenzy. The Frenzy is a horrible time for other members of the household. The afflicted, struggling with the massive project laid before them and terrified of the visiting outside party finding out what a fucking procrastinating slob they are, turns into the Super Bitch Tornado. Dusting furniture, picking up scattered shoes and discarded coats at an alarming rate, god help you if you are in the way of this storm of house-cleaning assbeat. You will be opening a whole can of Bitchiness that will not close until the house is deemed “presentable”, and even then there may be residual animosity. Get in the way enough times and you may be barred from the cleaning area, but most likely you will be press-ganged into service for The Frenzy aboard the USS Where-The-Fuck-Do-You-Think-You’re-Going. Good luck escaping.
|She's a proud ship with a long and bitchy heritage...|
As you can see, this is a serious issue for the afflicted party and the other members of the household. To help raise awareness for this horrible disorder, I’m going to come right out and say it:
Hello, my name is Melissa and I am Domestically Challenged.