Happy Shit – 4/5/13

Happy Friday all! Another shitty week full of work is behind us. Monday evening, I spent over an hour sitting in traffic (and was late to my follow-up eye doctor appointment) because an oil tanker hit a bridge and they diverted all the traffic to the highway I take to and from work, which as most of you know already sucks purple donkey dinks.

How dare you escape your moorings?! Don't you know I have shit to do?!

Why not take another way to work? Because I only have three ways to get there. The first route was blocked by aforementioned tanker traffic, the second route was shut down due to a car versus 18-wheeler crane accident (ouch...), and the third and longest goes right by the Shipyard at quitting time (thousands of workers plus mass exodus equals you are never fucking leaving your car ever again).

Traffic gods, why have you forsaken me?

The shitstorm that was this week was then capped off with the fact that yesterday I did something to my back, so now I look like fucking Igor.

Only I am not nearly as agreeable.

Fun fact: Marty Feldman (Igor in the above photo), actually looked like that in real life.

Fun fact of the week: Liz Taylor never wore fake lashes, she actually had a genetic mutation (called distichiasis) that gave her an extra row of lashes. Sufferers of distichiasis can have a lot of complications: the extra lashes can rub against the eyeball, which leads to irritation, frequent tearing, and even reduced vision. Sometimes, the lashes will grow straight into the cornea...fucking OW.

FREAK!

And now, here is some happy shit!

The Ninja Cats! They are not an urban legend!

I'm a lethal weapon motherfucker!

And I laughed my ass off when I watched this. Apparently Vagi Steaming is a thing. No that is not a typo, it is "Vagi" not "Veggie". NOTE: No va-jjs are shown (sorry...?), this is work safe...assuming you can watch funny things on YouTube at work.

Mmmm! Smells like steamed hoo-haa to me!

And how Batman chose his vigilante voice.

ANSWER ME, HOBBITSES! ...No...?

GIFs of the stupidity of infomercial people.

I forgot how to taco!

And Kermit asks the eternal question: what are this?!

WHAT. ARE. THIS.

And this totally fucking sweet Tron inspired dance routine. To my dance teacher friends: here is the link to where they get the lighting effects. It might cost a million dollars, I don't know.

But light up suits guys! LIGHT. UP. SUITS. Can you put a price on that?!

And this uplifting video by singer and musician Alex Goot. Looking at him, you wouldn't expect him to have such an awesome voice.

Kinda reminds me of Buddy Holly though.

And Landon Austin has some good music too.

I like his version of Foster the People's Pumped Up Kicks.

And lastly, Peter Hollens. Oh. Em. Gee. His stuff is incredible and almost all acappella. He actually covers a Queen song and that is really hard to do because Freddie Mercury had an incredible range.

And he went FULL Mercury in the video. Porn 'stache and all.

And that is it for this week! Remember you are all special and I love you like a fat kid loves cake.